Do’s & Don’ts of welcoming a new hijabi

 

New Hijabi Welcome

New Hijabi Welcome

Masha’Allah lately I’ve been hearing about so many sisters starting to wear hijab. I am so proud of them! It’s not easy to start wearing hijab; especially not within the current political climate (#harperfashionpolice, #DressCodepm).

Though hijab is a very important part of Islam, I feel it gets too much attention. Even though praying, fasting, and giving in charity are ranked higher in terms of basic requirements for being considered a Muslim, we seem to define people’s religiosity by whether they wear hijab or not. I guess this is because hijab is the most visible part of worship, this also makes it one of the most debated and difficult decisions. 

People often assume that the day someone starts wearing hijab is the day they start to pray and believe in God. This is not true.

Or on the flip side sometimes people assume a new Sheikha/Alima is born and suddenly start expecting the new hijabi to start acting like one!

In reality hijab is often the tip of the ice berg, that sister has most likely changed so much more on the inside before actually choosing to cover her hair with a piece of cloth .

 
Ultimately it’s the cloth that everyone notices and reacts to– it is annoying yet understandable.

Do you know any new hijabis? In order for you to make the event of a sister deciding to wear hijab just a little bit easier, I compiled a list of do’s and don’ts of welcoming a new hijabi. I even took a crack at making my version of an Infographic- see below!

  • Do buy her a new hijab to get her hijab collection started.
  • Don’t assume she’s not the same old Asma anymore. Hijab is the most visible part of the journey she’s been trekking on for the past little while. You can’t see her hair today but she hasn’t changed too much since yesterday.
  • Do take her hijab-less photos off of your social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc.
  • Don’t list all the things hijabi’s can no longer wear. I know you mean well but one day at a time sister friend.
  • Do make duah for her. Make duah that Allah SWT rewards her efforts in this life and in the Hereafter, that He SWT showers her with His limitless blessings, that He SWT guides her to the straight path and makes wearing hijab super easy for her. Ameen.
  • Don’t keep telling her that her hair or neck is showing- unless of course she asked you. Wearing the hijab can sometimes be tricky- she’ll get the hang of it without the constant nit-picking.
  • Do be a supportive listener. You wouldn’t believe the struggles some sisters face from their very own family and friends when they start wearing hijab. Be a good friend and hear them out- you never know how much your support can help them
  • Don’t be a Hijabi-hater- it has almost become sport for people to sit around and discuss that ‘ho-jabi that wears X Y Z’. Please leave the judging to Allah. When you back bite about another hijabi to a new hijabi you’re not encouraging her to avoid dressing a certain way you’re only making her anxious that she is now part of a scrutinized club.
  • Do compliment her. Shaytaan comes up with all sorts of tricks to dishearten and weaken the believers –let’s face it- no girl wants to be ugly. Though hijab is a sign of modesty it’s not meant to make you ugly as shaytaan might have you believe. Let her know if you think she looks nice.
  • Don’t assume she has become a Sheikha/Alima overnight.  She didn’t acquire total Islamic knowledge the moment she covered her hair.

 

Are you a new hijabi or have some etiquette’s I overlooked? Please share them in the comments below so I can add it to this current list.

Do's and Don'ts of Welcoming a New Hijabi

Do’s and Don’ts of Welcoming a New Hijabi

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30 Comments on Do’s & Don’ts of welcoming a new hijabi

  1. Anisa
    April 10, 2015 at 11:44 am (3 years ago)

    Wow, so well put! Awesome tips for our new hijabis 🙂

    Reply
  2. Tabassum
    April 10, 2015 at 11:48 am (3 years ago)

    Salaams! This is such an amazing article mashAllah lived it!!!!!

    Reply
    • Tabassum
      April 10, 2015 at 11:48 am (3 years ago)

      *loved*

      Reply
    • Sahar
      April 10, 2015 at 4:26 pm (3 years ago)

      Wasalam
      Thank you so much!

      Reply
  3. Sudduf
    April 10, 2015 at 11:58 am (3 years ago)

    This is inspirational and a wonderful resource for all of us. Thanks!

    Reply
    • Sahar
      April 10, 2015 at 4:25 pm (3 years ago)

      You’re most welcome!
      I really hope it’s beneficial Insha’Allah

      Reply
  4. Anam
    April 10, 2015 at 12:43 pm (3 years ago)

    Favourite one yet 🙂

    Reply
    • Sahar
      April 10, 2015 at 4:17 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you so much Anam!

      Reply
  5. Haleema
    April 10, 2015 at 1:11 pm (3 years ago)

    Nice tips, I didn’t think about a lot of them like don’t tell them their hair is showing all the time… For sure one step at a time!

    Reply
    • Sahar
      April 10, 2015 at 4:17 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you!
      you’re right- they’re most likely not doing it on purpose but the nit picking can be overwhelming

      Reply
  6. Kulz
    April 10, 2015 at 2:47 pm (3 years ago)

    Even as a Hijabi I thought it would be weird to compliment new hijabis too much. But you’re right! It’s coming from the heart and no girl wants to feel ugly!!

    Reply
    • Sahar
      April 10, 2015 at 4:15 pm (3 years ago)

      Exactly! who doesn’t like compliments? especially when you’ve changed your looks a little reassurance goes a long way 🙂

      Reply
  7. sarah
    April 10, 2015 at 4:12 pm (3 years ago)

    What a wonderful article! I remember when I started wearing the hijab and how some people around me reacted. Wish those certain individuals had this list to read back then 🙂

    Reply
  8. Sarah
    April 11, 2015 at 9:18 am (3 years ago)

    Loved this post! Well done my sister!

    Reply
    • Sahar
      April 18, 2015 at 6:04 pm (3 years ago)

      Thanx Sarah!
      Just found your comment on in my spam folder for some reason-sorry!

      Reply
  9. Wajiha
    April 14, 2015 at 8:31 am (3 years ago)

    Love this Sahar! I always thought that we are too judgemental and critical towards our fellow hijabis – “she’s wearing skinny pants”, “oh look she has makeup on”, “what’s the point” “might as well take your hijab off” etc etc

    We need to realize that everyone has a journey – everyone has a past – for the girl wearing the hijab incorrectly, that may be the best she can do at that point in her faith! We need to be more encouraging, uplifting and less negative and judgemental! We should simply make duaa for her and not criticize

    Btw LOVE your infographic! 🙂
    Great job

    Reply
    • Sahar
      April 16, 2015 at 11:50 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you Wajiha!
      you’re so right!…if only we were a little more encouraging and a little less critical imagine the sisterhood!
      I know a few girls who are too scared to wear the hijab because they can’t commit to being 100% perfect with it just yet -they know there will be so much nit picking for when they do begin.
      so sad.
      I’m so happy to hear you love the infographic!

      Reply
  10. ChristalBlogs
    June 1, 2015 at 10:11 am (3 years ago)

    Nice article mashaAllah. Too many hijabi haters out there lol

    Reply
    • Sahar
      June 1, 2015 at 2:55 pm (3 years ago)

      Salaamz Christal
      thank you.
      Yes..one too many. Hopefully we can focus on supporting each other instead of breaking each other down.

      Reply
  11. Raising Young Believers
    June 1, 2015 at 11:09 am (3 years ago)

    Very well-written! My favourite phrase when it comes to hijab is : Don’t judge by what’s on the head; take time to know what’s in the head!

    Reply
    • Sahar
      June 1, 2015 at 2:56 pm (3 years ago)

      Hi RYB,
      I like that!
      what a catchy phrase…will definitely be using it Insha’Allah

      Reply
  12. CreativeKhadija
    June 1, 2015 at 11:17 am (3 years ago)

    MashaAllah great article with perfect tips and suggestions. JazakAllah 🙂

    Reply
    • Sahar
      June 1, 2015 at 2:57 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank You Khadija!
      Looking forward to checking out your blog!

      Reply
  13. Autumn | It's Autumn's Life
    June 1, 2015 at 12:06 pm (3 years ago)

    Ho-jabi makes me so sad. Even if someone is wearing extremely tight clothing and portrays an image not consistent with Islam, it’s not OK to judge. I’m consistently seeing flame wars on Instagram over this on some of the more popular hijabi sisters on there. They may not be doing the wrong thing, but attacking people and lacking manners is NOT part of the deen. It’s hard to step back but Islamically it’s the right thing to do.

    Reply
    • Sahar
      June 1, 2015 at 3:00 pm (3 years ago)

      Salaamz Autumn
      OMG I know what you mean!
      Sometimes I’m so shocked at the comments people leave for our SISTERS on Instagram etc. You have to ask yourself the intention behind every action: will my rude comment make a difference or change the situation? nope! just create a negative environment.

      Reply
  14. random bytes
    June 1, 2015 at 12:56 pm (3 years ago)

    This is one of the best articles from you!Loving it, Masha’Allah!

    Reply
    • Sahar
      June 1, 2015 at 3:41 pm (3 years ago)

      Hey RB,
      thank you so much 🙂 It’s one of my favourites for sure

      Reply
  15. Amna
    June 1, 2015 at 1:58 pm (3 years ago)

    That’s a lovely article! That will help me in the future, because I really didn’t how to react when I saw someone wearing hijab!

    Reply
    • Sahar
      June 1, 2015 at 3:37 pm (3 years ago)

      Salaamz Amna,
      Thank you- I know what you mean..Sometimes you want to acknowledge it but never know how someone will react.

      Reply
  16. Hawa
    November 7, 2016 at 8:06 am (1 year ago)

    Is the hijab meant for married women?

    Reply

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