I miss Allah

MrPP4bWU                     Whenever people reminisce about their pre-religious days, their mouths water over memories of McDonald’s chicken nuggets and gummy worms. I must admit there were times I was a little jealous that I never had such ‘haraam days’ ( Don’t judge me- I just really really want to taste some Lucky Charms darn it!). We ate halaal from the start and never got the chance to taste these ‘staple Canadian foods’.

Allhumdullillah I was born into a practicing Muslim family with relative basic knowledge about Islam. I was taught that Allah is with us at all times, He (SWT) can hear your thoughts and knows your intentions. From a very early age I would talk to Allah- think Bridgette Jones Diary- but the audience is Allah. It’s not that I was an extraordinary Muslim praying all the time- I was just in constant connection with God.
I think on average I would make duah over 100 times a day. Duah about random stuff like for the kids at school to stop picking on Amy for being fat, for Amy to lose weight, stuff I was sad about, for pouty lips, to get to sit at the back of the bus, for Mr.Chisolm to choose my art work as a display model..and the list goes on.
I’m no longer in touch with Allah like I used to be.
I miss Allah.
I pray, do the 5 pillars of Islam , try to avoid sin- but that constant connection is no longer there. There’s too much static of responsibilities and worry interfering with our connection. They say God is always there- it is us who wander off and go astray.
I feel like it’s a long distance relationship now. I’m not happy about that. I want to move closer to Him.
Ever feel like you’re so thirsty, yearning for something? You try all sorts of things to quench your thirst but nothing works. Then you realize it’s your soul or heart that’s calling out for help.

How do you soothe your soul?

When I heard about the Al-Kauthar course Heart Therapy, I became hopeful that perhaps I could reclaim that deep connection again. A friend of mine took this course 3 years ago and swears it changed her life. I know that drifting away from Allah essentially has to do with my heart- I became too preoccupied with the blessings He gave me to spend time with Him. So crazy when you think about it. That’s not right.
I’m really looking forward to this course coming up March 21-22 2015 in Toronto. I’ve been making duah to be close to Allah again..maybe this course is Allah answering my duah. Insha’Allah I will come back a better person.

11 Comments on I miss Allah

  1. Kulz
    April 3, 2015 at 5:45 am (3 years ago)

    I love this! I totally connect with what you mean, Masha Allah.

    Especially this line is amazing- “How do you sooth your soul?”

    • Sahar
      April 4, 2015 at 11:12 am (3 years ago)

      Thank you Kulz!
      Love that you like it

  2. Sara
    April 6, 2015 at 3:31 pm (3 years ago)

    I love this.

    • Sahar
      April 7, 2015 at 3:18 pm (3 years ago)

      Thanx Sara!

  3. Haju
    April 6, 2015 at 4:00 pm (3 years ago)

    OMG I love this, I completely understand what your saying and i think that everybody goes through this atleast once in their life.

    • Sahar
      April 7, 2015 at 3:20 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you for your comment!
      You’re right- faith isn’t a fixed state it’s ever changing.

  4. Wajiha Jamali
    April 14, 2015 at 8:23 am (3 years ago)

    First of all Sahar, Love love love your blog – the name, the topics, everything! Wish you nothing but the best with this 🙂

    Now, as for this particular article – I can completely relate to everything you have said, except maybe the pre-practicing days part ofcourse ! May Allah strengthen our Emaans and bring us all closer to Him ~ Ameen ~

    • Sahar
      April 16, 2015 at 11:51 pm (3 years ago)

      awww thank you so much Wajiha ..that means so much to me 🙂
      Thanx for stopping by

  5. Me
    April 27, 2015 at 2:30 pm (3 years ago)

    Although I love everything on this bog, i can say without a day that this is my absolute favourite article. I have read it about about 10 times and each time it gives me chill. I can relate to it on a personal level it feels like I have written it (even though you said it better than I could’ve).

    • Sahar
      April 30, 2015 at 8:55 am (3 years ago)

      Hi Me,
      (I’m not commenting on my own blog..honest!)
      Thank you so much for the kind words!
      Made my day!
      I’ve been meaning to write a follow up after attending the course- hopefully soon.

  6. Alaa
    March 13, 2016 at 10:46 pm (2 years ago)

    Hi Sahar,
    Has the course helped you reconnect? I’m struggling with the same thing, however; in my case the disconnection had resulted from a major disappointed. And I can’t seem to feel the same way I used it anymore. It was my source of strength, and I don’t know who am I anymore.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comment *