Do women hate each other?

Salaam dear readers!

Hope you are having an awesome Friday! I wanted to thank each and every one of you for commenting on my last blog post about The Solution to Being Overwhelmed via my Facebook Page, Instagram and private message . Not only does it make me super happy to read what you have to say but I really felt the bond of sisterhood.It was a pretty personal post exposing my current state and faults. Reading how it helped you guys and how I wasn’t the only one making those mistakes, truly comforted me. Thank you!

I’ve been blessed with very gracious and supportive readers; I am so grateful for this digital sisterhood. Times like these remind me how lucky I am to be a girl and to be surrounded by many females.It’s so much more fun being a girl! SO glad I’m not a boring boy.

Why do girls or groups of girlfriends have such a bad rep?

Movies like Mean Girls, Snow White  and every Indian drama out there  always illustrate women as being adversaries or in constant competition with each other. Cat fights over bags, boys and beauty seem to be the exaggerated norm. If women are not busy plotting against each other, their relationships revolve around a male somehow. To make matters worse, sisterhood and positive female relationships are generally ignored.  Men on the other hand are portrayed as supporting each other or working as team members .

Mother in law and daughter in law portrayed in Bollywod (Image from india-forums.com)

Mother in law and daughter in law portrayed in Bollywod (Image from india-forums.com)

In real life, most marriage advice given to brides-to- be revolves around maneuvering through the tumultuous mother in-law, daughter in-law relationship because it is expected that you will butt heads and have issues. Girls are taught to be wary of jealous friends and to hide their achievements lest they get evil eyed. Almost every girl I know can list a female or two that tried to sabotage them or hated them for their success

Is this the big bad media’s fault or is there truth in it?

The media is definitely guilty of fueling the negative female relationship stereotype by ignoring positive female relationships and by only portraying them as enemies or in relation to men.

The Bechdel test, studies the amount of time two female characters spend on screen having a conversation about something other than a man. Not many movie or shows pass the test! Females are consistently portrayed as cliches instead of developed characters. They are rarely seen talking to each other about a topic other then men, let alone seen helping each other out.

This is especially troubling because it infiltrates the psyche of young girls to expect other females to not have their best interests in mind and especially because it ignores the power of strong female relationships.

Do women inherently hate each other and Hollywood is only telling it like it is?

Yes and no.

Powerless women living unfulfilled lives do tend to ‘hate’ successful women.  Women have generally been marginalized and are low in power. Like any low power group in society, they tend to take the pain and frustration out on each other.

Women generally have played the role of the assistant or are expected to sacrifice their own dreams and goals for the greater good of the family. The women who denied themselves certain freedoms or dreams can’t handle seeing  women flourishing in what they didn’t permit themselves to have.

Think about it, when do you compliment another girls beauty or accomplishments? When you look good and are doing well yourself.

The solution

Image from frenchbydesign.com)

Image from frenchbydesign.com)

The mark of a confident and powerful woman is that she helps other women. Strong Women recognize the power of female relationships. Whether in the corporate boardroom, volunteer organization or within a family setting; supportive female relationships translate into tangible empowerment. We can help each other get ahead, decrease gender inequality and address issues specific to us by banding together.

If you ever find yourself unhappy or jealous of another woman’s success, try and  understand what it is that you feel like you are lacking within yourself.

Sisterhood not only makes all of us powerful  but is essential for entering Jannah:

“None of you will believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself.”

Related by Bukhari & Muslim

Be a better you.

Being ME 2016

Being ME 2016

This is why the Being ME (Muslimah Empowered) conference is so near and dear to my heart.  This is an Islamic conference for women by women.  Subhan Allah, these women sacrifice more than just blood sweat and tears to make this event possible for you and I.

Though the venue is the same as other major conferences  (Metro Toronto Convention Centre), the ticket price is  half of that ($60 verses $25). Why? Because they want to make sure it is accessible to all females . I know a few of the organizers personally, not only do they devote 11/12 months organizing this incredible event but they invest so much of their own money into it!

May Allah SWT reward them immensely in this life and in the Hereafter. Ameen.

Muslimah in Action

Muslimah in Action

I was honoured when they asked me to be part of their Confidence series/Networking Muslimah in Action event at the Salam Shop this Sunday evening 5-7 pm.

I’m excited to sit down and chat with Sudduf the owner of Salam Shop and Annum Khokar from The Fashion Caravan. Both of these women are not only very successful at a young age but they exude sisterhood and female empowerment. They are so supportive and encouraging of other Muslimahpreneurs; just talking to them will refresh, energize and empower you.

This event is especially for anyone looking to start a business. A unique opportunity to network with other Muslimahpreneurs and to pick these lovely ladies’ brains!

Don’t forget your business cards !!

See you this Sunday

Chai later,

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3 Comments on Do women hate each other?

  1. Wajiha Amal
    March 4, 2016 at 5:55 pm (2 years ago)

    Love this post, Sahar!

    Females need to support and encourage each other and also realize that it does not take anything away from their own success! A simple compliment or a positive remark goes a long way! I’m all about empowering, supporting and encourage our fellow sisters in any endeavours they take on !

    MA loving your blog posts- (need to catch up on a few)

    Great job ! Can’t wait to see you at being ME iA

    Reply
  2. Kulz
    March 5, 2016 at 9:48 am (2 years ago)

    Dear god!!! This post is so true. I now feel I hardly never compliment another girl unless I’m feeling good about myself!! OMG I feel so— there should be word for feeling like you’ve been played by society’s stereotypes and have been working against yourself this whole time.. But since there isn’t ….— gullible!!!

    Thanks for opening my eyes!! See you Sunday In sha Allah!!!!

    Reply

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