10 ways to be the best you

“Everything you need to know about how to live life, you can learn from a flight attendant”.

air hostess (image from makeupandbeauty.com)

air hostess (image from makeupandbeauty.com)

I waited for him to say more but it seemed like his statement was complete. With a raised eyebrow, I slowly nodded and tried to smile politely as I mentally put the Naturopath sitting across from me in the ‘quack box’. The quack box is a place in my mind where I put people who have crazy ideas, like the aunty’s who tell you to stare at white people through out pregnancy if you want fair skinned children.
Why did it take me 5 months to get an appointment with this guy? He spoke very slowly and simply; I couldn’t help but think either he was slow or he thought I was slow. Initially I had a hard time telling if he was simply pausing or finished talking; I had cut him off at least four times in the past two minutes!

He was the complete opposite of me, I talk fast, use my hands to sign out half the conversation and make a lot of sudden gestures. He speaks, moves, blinks and breathes slowly.

But he thinks really fast.

Within ten minutes of our session he described me to the T. It was frightening and comforting all at once. I quickly removed him from the Quack box and leaned in to hear what he had to say.

put your mask on first (image from techly.com.au)

put your mask on first (image from techly.com.au)

Flight attendants teach us to put our oxygen mask on first before helping anyone, especially our children. Not only do we compromise our own safety but that of those around us when we try to help others before helping ourselves. It’s not heroic or benevolent to attempt to save someone before securing our own safety- it’s illogical. This is especially problematic for females as we love to multi task and are inherently nurturing. Our ability to perform many tasks at once is commendable, but we often spread ourselves too thin by not being able to say no.
Women are often ‘pleasers’ by nature, always tending to the needs of others even if it’s at their own expense.

helping_hand (image from artsygenius.wordpress.com)

helping_hand (image from artsygenius.wordpress.com)

Though everything he was saying was true, I couldn’t help but appreciate his advice only theoretically; it was as if he was asking me to change my core elements. Allhumdullillah, he presented the advice again but in a more practical way. It’s wonderful that women are able to multi-task and naturally want to help others; however, what we don’t realize is that we are most efficient or productive when we are at our best. Taking care of our needs first is crucial for the well being of all the tasks and lives we manage.

Coincidentally the day after my appointment with Dr.SlowbutBrilliant, Dalphies contacted me to do a session about stress management and self care at their Bridal lounge event this Saturday, October, 24th.. Subhan Allah how things work out!


Dalphies Bridal Collection

Dalphies Bridal Collection

Dalphies is an ultra glamorous high end online South Asian fashion boutique. It’s always hard to come across an online store that comes through in their promise of quality clothing and reliable delivery. Dalphies stays true to their commitment to customers and they definitely know their fashion! They specialize in the ultimate online shopping experience with particular attention to custom sizing, quality clothing, designer brands and customer satisfaction. If you want a one of a kind, unforgettable outfit, Dalphies is the store for you.

Not only do they aim to have you looking your best, but feeling your best too!

a stressed out bride (image from septembersbride.com)

a stressed out bride (image from septembersbride.com)

When I was contacted to do a talk at their bridal lounge event Saturday October 24th at the Salam Shop, I quickly agreed because I never pass up the chance to visit the Salam shop I was touched by how concerned they were about the well being of their clients. Sara Rangooni the CEO of Dalphies, confided in me about how she sees many stressed out and sleep deprived girls make bridal appointments. Uncomfortable with the way they neglected their health or let the stress of wedding planning take over them, Sara asked me to come up with a Top 10 List of how us women can take care of ourselves to be the best us possible. Brides or not, it’s in our nature to consistently put others or our ‘To Do’ lists before us until we start burning out.

Top 10 ways to be the best you


1) Purpose of life: it’s so easy to get distracted with the rat race and glitter of life and forget the purpose of why Allah created us- To worship Him.We will never experience peace if we neglect the sole purpose of our existence . Chai tip: the way you pray your salah is reflective of your state of mind and affairs. Is it hurried, full of distractions and lacks sincerity? Likewise, your life is probably chaotic and overwhelming. Fix your salah to fix your life.
2) Dhikr and Dua. Verily in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest. Dhikr, has a calming effect. Reading our morning and evening adhkars are essential for protecting us from evil and increases productivity throughout the day! Ask Allah for anything and everything then get working on achieving it. Chai tip: for a step by step guide to making an accepted dua please refer to this post.
3)Attitude of Gratitude: not only is gratitude a core concept in Islam, it’s scientifically proven to make you happier! Chai tip: interpret everything positively. Example: you had to slam on the breaks to stop yourself from crashing into the car that cut right in front of you. Instead of cursing and becoming enraged at the driver for almost causing an accident, you should thank Allah that you were saved from the injury and accident related expenses. You could spend the rest of the day telling people about the idiot that almost killed you or the fact that you are so lucky and grateful to have escaped an accident.


4) Be Powerful – Amy Cuddy did an amazing Ted talk on the power of body language, I cant stress enough how important it is to watch this 21 minute talk. Overall, the premise of her talk is that our bodies can alter our mind and mood. Just by holding our bodies in a power pose for two minutes, we alter the chemistry in our brain, instantly making us more confident and less stressed! Chai tip: before a meeting, stressful situation, job interview etc, sneak into a bathroom stall, hold the power pose and get ready to be awesome!
5) Hang Out With The Girls – it is a scientific fact that when women are around their female friends or loved ones, their bodies release the feel good hormone oxytocin leading them to feel less stressed, happier and healthier as their immune system strengthens! As if you needed another excuse to hang out with your friends! Chai tip:  Bring your friends to the Dalphies Bridal lounge event at the Salam shop this Saturday, October 24th!
6) Me Time : make a habit of investing a little bit of time into yourself daily. It doesn’t have to be a 90 minute Yoga session, it could be as simple as a quick nap, walk, browsing on Pinterest, playing around with your makeup- whatever YOU find relaxing. Chai tip: no matter how silly or ‘unrelaxing’  it may sound, do what makes you smile, no one knows whats fun for you but you.



7) Healthy Eating: you are what you eat. Don’t be fast, cheap & easy. It’s a harsh yet effective statement. You will get out of your body what you put into it. If you don’t eat leafy greens and brightly coloured fruits and vegetables daily, don’t expect energy, radiant skin and stable moods.  All processed foods are tasty but, lack nutrition and cause you to crash on energy soon after ingesting them, you get nothing out of them except calories. Chai tip: make it point to eat 2-3 cups of leafy greens and 2-3 cups of  fruits and vegetables EVERYDAY. Read here for more information.
8) Rest: The human body is absolutely amazing Masha’Allah. It performs a multitude of complicated functions for us every single second of our lives. Your body is an Amanah from Allah. Take care of what Allah trusted you with. Without rest, your body can’t repair from the previous day’s wear and tear. Lack of rest impairs cognitive functions and wreaks havoc on your skin. Dull and problem skin isn’t something your born with, it’s often an SOS signal from your body letting you know it needs rest and attention. Chai tip:if you think about your body as being a loan or gift from Allah, then you are more likely to treat it well than if you think it’s your property.
9) Grooming: not only does grooming yourself make you attractive and increase your salary potential, but it’s your way of communicating to yourself and the world that you value yourself. Simple habits of brushing your teeth, combing your hair, showering- all of these acts require you to physically focus on yourself. When your fingers massage your head as you shampoo your hair, or when your hands touch your face during a face wash, your body responds by reducing blood pressure and anxiety. Chai tip: no matter how  busy you are, never neglect your basic grooming regimen; even the perfect smokey eye can’t compensate for bad breath.
10) Get moving:whether you hate sweating it out at the gym or simply cannot make it to one, you can still find ways to get your heart rate up for 20 minutes a day. Chai tip: if it’s important to you, you will find a way. Otherwise you will find an excuse.

focus on yourself (image from bodyenlightenment.me)

focus on yourself (image from bodyenlightenment.me)

Ever since the Naturopath appointment, I have been forcing myself to focus on me. It’s a lot harder than it sounds because I had an incorrect understanding of ‘me’ my whole life. All this time while I was pursuing my goals and dreams I was under the impression that I was essentially investing in myself. It’s literally our physical bodies that require nourishing, our minds that require peace and our soul that requires submission. Once we satisfy these basic needs, then we can truly be successful.

I hope I’ll get to see you this Saturday October 24th at the Dalphies Bridal lounge at the Salam shop. I will be going over these 10 Ways to be the Best You in depth-  over a cup of chai of course!

October 24th 2015, 12-6pm. FREE Bridal Lounge Pop Up Event.

Dalphies Bridal pop up event

Dalphies Bridal pop up event

  • Rare opportunity to view the Dalphies 2015/16 Bridal collection
  • Meet professionals in the bridal industry and surprise guests
  • Fun and relaxing day of pampering and fashion
  •  Book an appointment at bridal@dalphies.com for free professional make over & Bridal Swag bag
  • Open to everyone, not just brides

My session will be from 3-4pm, I’m excited to meet you guys in person!

Chai later


17 Comments on 10 ways to be the best you

  1. Razia Ismail
    October 22, 2015 at 4:55 pm (2 years ago)

    Alhumdulilah.. I look forward to reading your posts..they always inspire and motivate me..wish I was in your area..would have loved to stop by the Salam shop to listen to you speak..I can honestly say that of today’s 10 tips.. There is just a couple that I need to work on..wishing you all the best for this weekend..May Allah swt bless you in abundance.. Ameen summa Ameen ya rabul alameen

    • Sahar
      October 23, 2015 at 11:51 am (2 years ago)

      Salaamz Razia!
      thats so sweet of you to say 🙂
      It would be so amazing to meet you in person! Insha’Allah one day… ever plan on visiting Canada?
      Unfortunately many women find it difficult to focus on themselves, which is a shame because they are integral to so many lives.

      • random bytes
        October 27, 2015 at 12:44 am (2 years ago)

        Thanks for such an interesting article!

        • Sahar
          October 28, 2015 at 9:48 am (2 years ago)

          you’re welcome 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  2. Payday 360 Now
    October 24, 2015 at 11:47 pm (2 years ago)

    Hi there, You have done an incredible job.
    I’ll definitely digg it and personally recommend to my friends.
    I’m sure they’ll be benefited from this website.

    • Sahar
      October 28, 2015 at 9:53 am (2 years ago)

      Welcome to my blog, thanks for the comment 🙂

  3. Zainab Dokrat
    October 26, 2015 at 2:52 pm (2 years ago)

    Really enjoyed the post. Lol the pictures loaded first and I was like huh the title and these pictures, love how you wrote this post, makes total sense now lol. Also good food always makes you feel the best as possible and prayer, keeping spiritual and health you in check.

    • Sahar
      October 28, 2015 at 9:52 am (2 years ago)

      lol..whoops! I can see how that can be confusing. Thank you so much for the kind words. Yes food for the body and soul is what keeps you going.

  4. Jameela
    October 26, 2015 at 11:05 pm (2 years ago)

    LOL your posts always leave me with a smile. I would love to meet you but we are separated by a couple of oceans. 🙂

    • Sahar
      October 28, 2015 at 9:50 am (2 years ago)

      😉 awww Jazak Allahu khairun, that’s so sweet of you to say so. Where abouts do you live? If you’re ever in Canada I would love to meet you

  5. Gemma Elizabeth
    October 28, 2015 at 2:02 am (2 years ago)

    Great post! “even the perfect smokey eye can’t compensate for bad breath” !!! LOL!

    • Sahar
      October 28, 2015 at 9:47 am (2 years ago)

      Thank you! I just had to put it out there ..lol

  6. umm asiya
    October 29, 2015 at 12:12 am (2 years ago)

    Haha, its always a joy catching up to your articles. They are really inspiring masha aallah.

  7. Amina Edota
    October 29, 2015 at 3:02 am (2 years ago)

    Great chai tips…

    You’ve said it all. It is really important to care for the mind, body and soul without neglecting one for the other. Thanks for reminders.

  8. Muslimah92
    October 31, 2015 at 9:01 pm (2 years ago)

    I enjoyed reading this article. Thank you for sharing.

  9. Zeinab Al-Hussaini
    November 2, 2015 at 4:27 am (2 years ago)

    These are great tips, I always love reading posts about self improvement!



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